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Fear of Rejection – Getting the Monkey Off Your Back




In 2009, I graduated college and started applying for a plethora of jobs. When I received my first rejection letter saying “Thank you for taking the time to interview for (insert job), we have decided to move forward with other candidates more suitable for the role…”. I was surprised, I honestly thought the interview went well, I was a little bummed. Trying to find a job wherever you are in your career is not an easy task.


Nonetheless, instead of letting this rejection hold me back, kick me to the ground, or shatter my confidence, I tucked that rejection letter away and said to myself “I’ll show them!”. Not that I know where the letter is today, but the point is: have a positive mindset! 


The fear of rejection is an unconscious blocker that has the ability to hold people back in their professional and personal lives equally. For instance, it might keep them from applying for the job they want because they don’t believe they have enough experience, or don’t speak up when they have an idea at their current job. This can also impact socialization with individuals, building relationships, etc. Fear of rejection is tied to the way we show up on a day-to-day basis. 


Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor or a therapist. But, since I work in business development, I have had my fair share of rejection. I also know that many fears are heightened with the current economic state we are in!

 Here are a few ways we can all overcome our fear of rejection and get the monkey off our back. 
  • Realistic expectations: I have found that whenever I incorporate expectations, play the scenario through in my head, or hope for approval or validation - I get myself all mixed up in fear. Say you went for a job interview, didn’t get the job and you’re super bummed because it was perfect. Reflect on the interview, note room for improvement and remind yourself that every interview, networking meeting, proposal, etc. is practice. Practice makes you better. I would say perfect, but is anything perfect?
  • Journaling/Documenting Worth: I highly recommend reflecting on where the fears stem from. When I find myself going down this road, I get my journal out. I will find quotes which represent my current state, write them out in my journal and write out why I am feeling that way as well as how I can change my mindset. 
    • While you are in your journal, write down everything that you bring to the table, your accomplishments, and build your brag book!
  • Keep things in perspective: I don’t recommend you discredit your feelings; I recommend you try looking at the situation with a different lens. Be resilient, overcome the fear by pushing forward knowing that any given situation is only temporary. There are aspects of our life which are out of our control, why let them control our life? In retrospect, keep pushing on!  
It’s all about mindset, don’t let fear distort your way of thinking.
If fear is overpowering your daily life, I encourage you to seek attention from a therapist who will be able to drive deeper into your fears!

Good Luck, Stay Healthy, Well and Sane.

Sincerely, 
Career Kate

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